Technology has made life easier — but it’s also given people new ways to control, intimidate, and stalk others. Today, abusers who used to follow someone in person often use mobile phones, apps, social media, and GPS to keep tabs on their victims. This grew worse during the pandemic when we all relied more on devices and online tools.
When someone gains access to your phone, they can quietly peek into almost every part of your digital life: private messages, call logs, photos, and even your location history. One of the most common tools attackers uses is known as spyware — software designed to secretly monitor a phone and report back what the user does.
If you think someone might be watching you through your phone, here’s how hacking usually happens, the signs to look for, and steps you can take to protect yourself.
How does spyware end up on a phone?
There are two main ways spyware gets installed on a device:
1. Phishing and trick links A stalker might send a text, email, or social media message that looks harmless — a website link, a document, or an app prompt. When you click the link, malicious software can install itself without you realizing it.
2. Physical access to the device If someone gets hold of your phone for even a short time, they can install tracking apps directly. They may also have your passcode because you shared it, they watched you type it, or they set the phone up for you and hid the spyware before handing it over.
If someone seems to know things they shouldn’t — where you’ve been, who you met, or things you’ve only told a few people — that could be a red flag. Other signs include:
- Your phone battery drains much faster than usual.
- Your device gets hot even when not in heavy use.
- You notice unusual data usage or text messages with strange characters.
- Apps open or behave oddly without you doing anything.
- You see unfamiliar apps or settings you didn’t add.
- Your location history shows places you didn’t visit, or your device reports a different location.
- Friends receive messages from your account that you didn’t send.
Also consider other devices: abusers sometimes track children’s phones or smartwatches to monitor a partner. If you’re worried, check your family devices’ settings and location-sharing features.
What to do if you suspect your phone is hacked
Put your safety first. If you’re in immediate danger, contact local emergency services. If the surveillance is part of an abusive situation, planning to leave or discussing escape on a monitored device can increase risk. Avoid using a device you suspect is compromised to make plans.
Here are safer steps to regain control:
- Trust your instincts and document everything. Note times, messages, and examples of suspicious behaviors. Screenshots are useful — but don’t take them on a device you think is monitored, as that could put you at risk.
- Don’t confront the abuser using the monitored device.
- Consider professional device checks. If the stalking is serious, a forensic check by a trusted technician or organization may be necessary.
Remember: you’re not to blame, and help is available. Take steps that prioritize your physical safety first, use a safe device when possible, and reach out to support organizations that understand both abuse and digital threats.
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